Links Return To Hyrule
by Pessimistic Optimist
Summary: Link has returned after seven years to the woman he loves, but who is it, and whats up with death mountain(Occasional Swearing So Dont Say I Didnt Warn You, Though Its Nothing Really Distasteful)
1. Prolouge

Prologue  
  
Okay, Link has just turned 17 a week or so ago, and he returned to the temple of time to retrieve the master sword, since it wont trap him for seven years coz hes old blab de blab de blah and so on. So anyway Link has come back from a whole lot of adventures over the years and is home now with the woman he loves, except theres a problem, he doesn't have a home and I mean, when youre the Hero of Time, you've got girls hanging off you and its kinda hard to make a choice, and since you haven't seen em in like 7 years or something, you don't know if theyre gonna look like goddesses or prechewed gum. So what would you do? Of course Link just wanted to return quietly and then just pop up one day and say hey I was in the neighbourhood so I thought id say hi and ive been here a week and stuff but nooo! Someone was destined to find out and tell everyone, just like Ganondorf was destined to screw Hyrule over somethin bad. So Link is on his way to Kakariko village because he sent a message ahead about a certain block of land, so now Link owns Dampe's old hut. Which is fitting for a hero because it means there cant be a humoungous surprise party cause you could never fit a goron and a gerudo in there as well as cakes and stuff. Plus hes got a job at least, tending to the graveyard and kicking some serious Poe ass. Anyway im babbling on and on and on so we pick up our story at the entrance to Lon Lon Ranch, because he has to leave Epona somewhere, I mean she cant go cold and have no food or anything so anyway of course he had to tell malon cause you cant just turn up without any warning and say " hey I know ive been gone seven years and haven't sent a letter or anything but heres the hores I never paid for which I need you to take care of thanks" Oh well, next chapter 


	2. Chapter 1

As Link approached the lone tree outside the ranch he crossed his fingers (and toes, which is quite difficult for some people) hoping that Malon hadn't told anyone he was coming though he didn't think she would, it was really Talon he was worried about. He figured the ranch owner would go out, get drunk and start telling anyone who would listen "did you know that the hero of times coming home to see us, but it's a secret so don't tell anyone" and naturally they'd tell everyone and get a party going with a keg bigger than the Dodongo King and they'd all get drunk and dance round a big colourful fire.  
  
Link urged Epona on towards the entrance and as he entered the main entry area place thingy (im not very good at descriptions) he thought he heard a rustle and a quick noise. "Okay," link thought to himself, "two things make a rustle, an ambush or surprise partiers, and this is probably the worst place for an ambush so it must be a party". Link hopped down off his horse and walked out into the main paddock, and as he guessed a whole lot of people jumped up and yelled "SU" but that's as far as they got, because Link threw down a marvelous little piece of equipment, known to most as a Deku Nut, and stunned pretty much everybody in the area. As they came to, Link looked round at everyone and yelled "SURPRISE". Most people just sat and looked around wondering what had happened, and a few people still stood, well actually just one, and that was Impa, because she's paranoid and never lets her hair down for a second, and actually anticipated the deku nut, which is kinda hard. Link got looks from various peoples and actually squealed like a girl when he saw Ruto, his own personal royal fishgirl stalker. But he calmed when he saw Zelda, who everyone knows is in love with him, though Link had never been sure of his feelings towards her, though he'd choose her over fishgirl any day, though some people like naked white half human half fishes.  
  
As you can imagine, Link wasn't exactly impressed with his return to Hyrule, Malon and Talon where the only people who knew about his arrival, and he spotted them up the back behind Darunia, Link guessed that Zelda had had them jostled to the back to focus Links attention towards her, but who could miss the red locks of Malon, even behind Darunia who was a Goron of surmountable size, though not as big as Biggoron and Medigoron who were sitting outside the ranch and still blocking the moon from shining. Link took a couple of steps toward her but Zelda and Ruto grabbed him by the arms and hauled him over to a table with a whole lot of other people who were obviously friends of the two royal families and didn't even bother to hide there snobbishness (is that even a word?) and came out with remarks like "Oh, a red tunic, how quaint," or "I had a hat like that once, I fed it to my butler," then they all broke out in a snobbish weasel laugh which was just too much for Link, who wasn't too fond of humans, especially rich ones. After all, the Kokiri raised Link to be a wholesome person and be nice to everyone, even Mido, and then there were the Gorons who were his were his sworn brothers which conveniently worshipped him, and the zoras who were so sophisticated that they were above sheer insults, they too also loved Link a bunch (bunch is a mad word don't knock it) but snobbish humans were beyond him, even though he was one himself (a human, not a snob). Link excused himself and headed over to the great keg and grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim, though found that it was a keg of milk, not beer. Talon saw the bewilderment on Links face and walked over "Lon Lon Milk, Finest there is, I wanted something a little stronger but Ingo said he wouldn't be cleaning up the er, aftermath of of a drunken mob come hell or high water, anyway, come with me, there's some people you have to meet" Talon poured himself a glass then walked Link over to a group of laughing people, and Link spotted Malon among them. "Well these are my brothers Alon and Daron, and my sister Sharon, and that's Ingo's brother Tingo, everyone this is the Hero of Time and my future son in law Link" "Dad, Links not marrying me he's gonna marry Zelda or Ruto or some Gerudo. I'm just trash compared to two princesses." Malon interrupted. "Why I remember when Link said he'd love to marry you" Talon retorted. "Yeah Dad, when he was ten!" "By the way Link the offer still stands you kn- um, where'd Link go" "You probably freaked him out with all this talk about our marriage" A few people turned to look for the hero, and realized Epona was gone too. "Where'd he go?" was the common thought throughout the guests. Zelda picked up the drapes of her dress and tip-toed away to find Link, as she was the bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, so she already knew where he was, though with all that wisdom, she was surprisingly blinded by emotions towards Link.  
  
Stay tuned for chapter Two 


	3. Chapter 2

"I figured you'd be here," Zelda whispered as she magically floated up to be level with Link. "You always come up here when you're confused." Link was staring out plainly into the black starry night above Kakariko village, from the watchtower near the village centre. "All that marriage talk must have freaked you out, that's understandable. It doesn't matter what people say about you and Malon, or you and Ruto, because we both know were in love and we are to be married, as soon as Ruto gives up on the whole engaged thing." "Mm" "You don't seem to enthusiastic" "Huh, enthusiastic about what" "About us getting married now you're home" "WHAT! I don't remember anything about marriage or nothing!" "Weren't you even listening to me just then?" Link turned to Zelda and saw she was crying, teardrops ran down her face, spoiling her make-up, then dripping onto her royal gown, which would be the average Hylians ten year wages. "Zelda, tell me, how did you get up here?" "I-I floated up, why?" "And why not climb the ladder?" "I c-cant climb in this dress, you should know that" "And why such a fancy dress" "Well, it-it's the proper thing to do, its etiquette among the royals." "See, and what am I wearing? A Goron Tunic, why because it is easy to work and fight in. You and I aren't meant to be, we're too different!" "WHAT!? WE'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! WHO ELSE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE! OH, I KNOW, IT'S BLOODY RUTO ISN'T IT! YOU'RE CHOOSING FISHGIRL OVER ME, AREN'T YOU!" "Malon, you're the one I love" "WHAT! BLOODY FARMERS DAUGHTER!" "Ah, I said that out loud didn't I?" "URGGH! I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU LINK!" "Shit!" Well as you can tell, Zelda must be pretty damn pissed about this whole thing, and Link isn't exactly planning on sticking around after confessing his love of the farm girl Malon, who actually has always wanted to marry Link but never thought it was possible, especially since Zelda made it common knowledge that they were engaged and to be married once Link returned to Hyrule, which isn't quite the truth (damn I'm good, all in one sentence)  
  
Well Link obviously wants to escape the situation, so he darts around Zelda and heads for Epona, not even bothering to climb the ladder down, instead he just jumps off and hits the ground running. Zelda however has magic, and now youre thinking "Oh no shes gonna blow him up!" but Zelda loves Link after all and could never bring herself to harming him. And so Link rode of into the distance, for the one person who would listen to him for eternity if he needed it. And at this particular moment, I think eternity is looking quite possible. 


End file.
